Who You Callin' Queer?

Recently in the LGBTIQQA (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer, Questioning and Allies) community, there has been yet another revision to the community's title. In my opinion, the previous shift from being called, "The Gay Community" to the aforementioned acronym was a positive and progressive one. Everyone who identifies as not heterosexual, doesn't necessarily identify as "gay"and the acronym also avoids the gender binary. Even though this acronym is now commonly known as "alphabet soup" and is steadily amassing more members of said alphabet, it still manages to represent each of the community's branches.

Now, however, many members of the community have steered away from the mouthful of letters and have chosen the far more ambiguous, "Queer". When I first heard this used as the umbrella term for the community, I was a bit offended. Webster defines "Queer" as, "strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint, unusually different or of a questionable nature or character." I'll be the first to admit that homosexuality isn't exactly conventional but I wasn't quite sold on the having questionable character section. I have been verbally accosted enough by straight douche-bags with the word "Queer" (in addition to other colorful insults like "fudge-packer", "butt-pirate" and "sausage jockey") and I really didn't want to hear it from my own community. It also just seemed to undermine all of my efforts to prove that gay and straight men really aren't that different and are all still men at the end of the day, by then identifying myself as "strange, odd, and unusually different".

The word "Queer" does have its benefits however. It does a nice job of saving people from having to fumble over several letters of the alphabet, followed by an explanation of what the hell they all stand for, which usually makes you sound like a chatch-bag. "Queer"also evades the gender binary, not forcing you to be locked in to liking men or women. With "Queer", you are simply indicating that you are not heterosexual without any implications about or limitations on whom you date. Most importantly, it affords those in the community a label that isn't defined by straight society. If I'm questioning, bi-sexual, two-spirited, same-gender loving or just a good old-fashioned queen, "Queer" allows me some ambiguity and the flexibility to define my sexuality however the hell I please.

I completely see the validity of adopting the word "Queer" for all of the reasons I've already mentioned but for me, personally, it doesn't quite apply. I am a gay man and I identify as such. I only date men and therefore have no problem aligning my sexuality with the gender binary. I choose to wear the label of "gay" proudly because I enjoy redefining something that has already been defined. I don't read Cosmopolitan magazine because I am gay, I read it because I find it entertaining - the same reason I watch College Basketball and play Ultimate Frisbee. I don't need to find a new, more ambiguous term but rather I choose to be the definition of my label, it doesn't define me. So I implore everyone to think about the labels they choose, why they claim them, what implications those labels might have, and most importantly, make sure that you are not letting a label dictate how you live your life. Label is not synonymous with limit - so don't allow it to be.