Let's Talk About Sex

After reading the title of my blog post, it is logical to proceed with an expectation of a discussion about the act of intercourse. If you were, indeed, looking forward to some racy discourse about that kind of sex, you will be disappointed to know that I was referring to "sex" as in the biological classification. The conversation about sexism is one that is on-going, we talk about breaking down gender roles, equal wages for women, sexual harassment, and unfair media biasing, (which is all legitimate), but we totally ignore another type of sexism that occurs everyday. The sexism I'm speaking of happens to those who identify as "transgender". They don't quite meet the criteria to fit into the male/female binary and, because we can't understand anything outside of a binary system, we label them "weirdos", "freaks", "chicks with dicks" and all sorts of other rude, hurtful slurs. The key to understanding one who is transgender, and ending the societal taboo, is to be able to to distinguish between sex and gender - which many are unable to do.

This inability is largely due to society's need to fit everything into nice, neat little categories in order to understand them. You have to be gay or straight, male or female, either "a" or "b" but it must fit into a one "box" or another. The problem with this is that very often we encounter information that doesn't fit nicely into our "boxes" and instead of expanding them to accommodate the new information, we just try to cram everything in - much like fitting a square peg into a round hole. This is certainly the case with sex and gender. We attempt to force transgender peopled into a male/female "box", instead of entertaining the possibility of a "third gender" - an idea impossible to grasp without first properly defining sex and gender.

Everyone understands the idea of sex, the biological classification of either a male or female based upon their reproductive organs. It gets a bit murkier when the discourse on gender, or gender identity, begins. It is often assumed that sex defines gender identity, and this is not necessarily true. Gender identity has to do with ones internal sense of "self", how one feels, thinks, behaves and feels comfortable. It does not necessarily have to align with the sex assigned at birth. Ones sex and gender identity then are two very separate entities. A person could be born a male genetically, but identify and feel more like oneself as a woman or vice versa. This person could want to be called a "he", a "she" or maybe use gender neutral pronouns like "hir" (HEER) - that is to say, one can be a man, a woman or otherwise but that identity is not defined by anatomy. Gender identity, then, is not a static reality but is, in fact, a fluid aspect of ones life that is defined only by oneself.

I write a lot about "escaping the binary", and may sound like a "broken record" to some, but I often attack the binary because I find it problematic. Binaries limit our schemas and abilities to understand new information and possibilities. The male/female binary is the one of the oldest of them all, and while I'm not suggesting that we do away with it (because I know how unrealistic this is), I am suggesting that we, as a society, attempt to widen our "boxes" to include an option "c". To allow a "third gender" to exist in our world without being subjected to ridicule and malice. Everyone deserves the opportunity to express their gender identity safely, and in a way that makes them happy and fulfilled. Perhaps we'd all be better off if we allowed sex to be defined by the doctors but left gender up to the individual.